Imagine that we are all carrying giant boulders. We hold them, straight up over our head. They make our arms tired. We walk around, and we want to rest but we still have to carry around that weight. Don’t carry around other people’s problems.
Some people try to have you carry their boulders as well. They put the weight on you to make them happy. Sometimes we try to be people pleasers and we accept the boulders. The problem with this is, don’t we have enough to carry around?
When we carry our boulder and someone else’s boulder, that can take a toll on us. We exhaust faster. Depression and anxiety steps in. At times we start to walk on egg shells.
This is especially true in relationships. Sometimes it’s true in friendships. The truth is, we don’t need to carry around other people’s boulders.
Of course when we have children that’s probably not an option. We have to carry around those little pebbles too. Those little pebbles exist because of us. Our boulder exists because of the consequences of our actions.
Is it Ever Okay to Carry Someone
It doesn’t matter how much you empathize with that other boulder. We can help someone carry their boulder for a little while if they get tired, but if they are not willing to take their boulder back then you’re in trouble. It’s like giving an alcohol-dependent person money for rent, but they continue to spend the money on alcohol. Maybe it’s like letting someone live in your home while they’re laid off, but they are not working to be more independent. Sooner or later you’re gonna have to say “Shit or get off the pot.”
Other people’s boulders exist because of them. It’s their boulders. Our responsibility only lies with our boulders and our pebbles. If we opt to take someone else’s boulder, the weight overcome us so much that we won’t be able to take care of our boulders. Worse yet, we won’t be able to take care of our little pebbles.